http://www.jowie.com:80/blogMy Bloghttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/The-photography-pages-are-online.aspx<p>The photography pages are online and working beautifully. Check out the new content there. Lotsa pics for your viewing pleasure.</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:57 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/The-photography-pages-are-online.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/I-dont-believe-I-did.aspx<p>I don't believe I did it. I went back and read my ex's journal. Check out Dawnchyle from the list to the left under external. I haven't been there since we broke up. I was afraid of what I might see. That I would have to read about all the pain and anguish I put her through. Her most recent post pretty much sums up what has been going on with her life since me. I also had a lingering fear that I would see that her and Geoffrey had gotten together. Well, both those fears have been confirmed in her most recent post. Perhaps fear isn't the right word. I can't think of what word to use however right now so just flow with me ok? She actually thanked me for hurting her. And here is where I get mad, not at her, she's a sweetheart and I'm sorry that we weren't meant for each other. She was one of the most wonderful girlfriends I had ever had. -=physically shaking=- Have you ever been so emotionally charged with both relief and depression at the same time that you feel as if you're going to explode? I don't know if I should cry or laugh right now. On the one hand, I am glad that through some twisted means she has finally found what she has been so desperately seeking. On the other however, I keep asking myself, "When will that happen to me?". Looking back at every single relationship I have had in the past, I get a feeling as if all the girls that I had been with had come out better after being with me. That I was just a chapter in their life, with a beginning and the inevitable ending. And that is what hurts. I have had this feeling for quite some time now, that all I am good for in relationships is to help the other grow in some way shape or form. When will I meet that person that rights my world? That binds everything together in a way that we could never dream of leaving each other? When will I find my true love??</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:57 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/I-dont-believe-I-did.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Hanengcom-A-different-ASP-developer.aspx<a href="http://haneng.com/">Haneng.com -A different ASP developer site</a>. Neatoid...Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:57 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Hanengcom-A-different-ASP-developer.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/My-allergies-have-been-so.aspx<p>My allergies have been so bad this year that I would actually brave the weekly shots for immunotherapy allergy treatments. Supposedly it can take <i>up to</i> 5 years to be effective, but there is a 1 in 3 chance that it will get rid of your allergies forever. Another third have less allergic symptoms after stopping the shots, while the final third fully relapse. I think its worth it, just time to find out if my insurance would cover it.</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:57 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/My-allergies-have-been-so.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Two-days-of-mind-numbing.aspx<p>Two days of mind numbing training down, three left to go. Thankfully the rest won't be classroom time. Oh how I fought off the sleepyness those first two days. I had to keep my mind occupied by surfing the web the whole time, or else I would have fallen into a coma.</p> <p>Well, I found out why she wanted my opinion of Moulin Rouge yesterday. I logged into MSN IM Monday when I got to work, and she immediatly sent me a msg. Its always a highlight of my day when I get to talk to her. :) So I told her I saw the movie last Friday, and told her to go to my site to read my journal. She did, and she sent me an email later. Turns out the reason why she was curious of my opinion was because the same thing had happened to her when she left the movie, and she felt almost exactally the same as I. The circumstances around our whole... hrmmm... relationship if you will, is very complex. I'll not go into detail, but from what I can tell, it was a rush decision to get married, and possibly isn't exactally what she wants, although she know she can live a happy and comfortable life with her husband. However she can't get the thought of, "What if?" out of her mind. Nor can I. Although, situationally speaking, I know I have it much better then she does. I don't have the dilemma of having to deal with those feelings <b>AND</b> a marriage. I do not envy her in her postion. I feel guilty, depressed, alone, yet happy at the same time knowing the feeling is mutual. I would never want to see her hurt, ever, and fear I probably must try and let go of the thought of being with her. But I tried that in the past and it didn't work. What ever am I to do?</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:56 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Two-days-of-mind-numbing.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Ok-I-never-did-go.aspx<p>Ok I never did go to bed. I ended up clicking the next site in my webbloggers link and just kept going. I saw a few kewl sites, none that noted a link on my blog though. I think I'll go get showered and ready for work now. Damn the palm of my right hand was sweaty, either something is wrong, or I had that hand on my mouse for waaaaaaaaaaaay to long. I wonder how long it will take for delerium to kick in and carry me through the rest of my day. Oh, speaking of Delerium, they have a really kewl song called The Silence. My favorite version is the Tiesto remix of course. If you have heard any of Paul Oakenfold's recent mixes, you have heard the song. Enough rambling, its naked time!!!!</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:56 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Ok-I-never-did-go.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Hrmm-well-its-now-339am.aspx<p>Hrmm well its now 3:39am and I should be up by 5:30am so that I can get ready and go to my former apt to pick up my former roommate Brian and go to work. We start electronic customer support training this week. So instead of my normal shift I will be working from 8am to 5pm this whole week. Right smack dab in the middle of rush hour. How fun eh? Well, here is my delema. Go to sleep now and get a good power nap in, or stay awake because sometimes those power naps leave you even more tired then you were before. Hrmmm, fuck it, lets try the power nap. I sure hope I don't regret this later...</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:56 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Hrmm-well-its-now-339am.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/I-watched-Moulin-Rouge-with.aspx<p>I watched Moulin Rouge with Tali and Ducky this weekend. The girl who I met in Utah was curious of my opinion of it. I guess I have always been a sap for a tragedy, and this was like no other. First of all, she wanted to know my opinion of it. That didn't help at all. I kept drawing on similarities between us and the characters on screen. I have always loved the escapisim of watching a good movie. This movie is absolutly wonderful. There are some trippy things in it that can only be described as an acid trip, especially the transisions from scene to scene. Of course at the heart of this movie is a love story, love found, experianced, and ultimatly and painfully lost. At the end it was very difficult trying to hold back my tears, not only because of what happened on screen, but because of what I was thinking about lost love. When it was over, my friends and I left, but as they stayed in the theater to go to the bathroom, I went straight out to my car and told them I would meet them outside. I got to my car, and that knot in my throat returned. I leaned up against my car, lit a ciggarrete, and closed my eyes. All the memories of that one wonderful week came rushing back. I could feel the tears now pushing past my closed eyes, burning down my face. Eventually my friends came out, and Ducky knew what was up. Tali did too I found out later on. I sat down on the curb, and tried to light up another cig all the while shaking pretty good. It was the first time I had cried in a while, and the first from realizing what I had lost. No, that girl in Utah isn't dead, but a relationship might as well be as impossible, she's now married. I wonder why she was asking my opinion. Perhaps there is a slight sliver of hope somehow? When we finnaly got in the car, I had to hear a song. At the time I was in Utah, I bought this CD. Global Underground 16, Dave Seaman - Cape Town. Disk 2, track 8, The Fall by Way Out West, "But I miss you most of all.... my darling.... when autum leaves.... start to fall....". Little did I know how much that song would mean to me...</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:56 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/I-watched-Moulin-Rouge-with.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Free-XML-Comments-System-Kick.aspx<a href="http://www.groovetheory.net/xcomments/">Free XML Comments System</a>. Kick ass! Runs completly on YOUR server. Still trying to get it to work on my site, I think the dir I put the files in doesn't have write permissions so it doesn't work on my site. Yet... :)Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:55 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Free-XML-Comments-System-Kick.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/KaZaA-Gnutella-like2c-but-supposedly.aspx<a href="http://www.kazaa.com/">KaZaA</a>. Gnutella like, but supposedly faster with increased scaleability. Check it out. I just may switch from Bearshare to this...Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:55 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/KaZaA-Gnutella-like2c-but-supposedly.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/errorwear-embrace-your-computer-problems.aspx<a href="http://www.errorwear.com/">errorwear: embrace your computer problems</a>. Kick ass!! I want the BSOD shirt...Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:55 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/errorwear-embrace-your-computer-problems.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Song-of-the-moment-Rescue.aspx<p>Song of the moment: Rescue Me, by Jamie Myerson. Can be found on Global Underground - Paul Oakenfold: New York, disk 1 track 2...</p> <blockquote> I realize its only been a few short years gone by...<br /> But still I think how far away I am...<br /> And tears they fill my eyes...<br /><br /> I hope it won't be too long now before I loose my mind...<br /> The time for us, soon will come, and then you will, and then you will be mine...<br /><br /> Rescue me...<br /> From the life that, keeps me from you...<br /><br /> Rescue me...<br /> So I can get, closer to you...<br /><br /> I knew when I saw you, that we would fall in love...<br /> And now, now that I have you, we'll live together as one...<br /> And I promise you my baby, that I won't leave you no never...<br /> I will stay in your arms, holding each other tight, as long as you can, you can rescue me....<br /> From the life that, keeps me from you...<br /><br /> Rescue me...<br /> So I can get, closer to you...<br /> </blockquote>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:55 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Song-of-the-moment-Rescue.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/There-are-times-in-life.aspx<p>There are times in life where you just can't help but feel utterly alone. You're stuck in the same funk you have been for what seems like ages, things just don't seem to go exactly the way you want them to, but they are not exactly giving you hell either. People don't call you, and if you call them all you get is voice mail, they are busy, or are just not too interested to hear from you. You sit at home, and think to yourself, because really, who can you talk to? You go out, find some people that you can hang out with, but that you really don't have any kind of real connection to. As an only child in a military family, I've gotten used to it. I could probably be by myself for months and not go insane. But that's not saying I enjoy being alone. Why is it the times you feel you need to be accepted, that no one is around? Even online right now, no one that I would want to talk to is online. Why, in this connected world, do I, right now, feel so alone? So detached from society, that if everyone in the world right now would have disappeared, I wouldn't even notice...</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:54 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/There-are-times-in-life.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Microsoft-Switzerland-Office-XP-commercial.aspx<a href="/download/30sekdt01.mpg">Microsoft Switzerland Office XP commercial</a>. Password protected bra straps?? HAHAHAHA!!! <b><font color="red">Warning: 3.68 MB</font></b>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:54 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Microsoft-Switzerland-Office-XP-commercial.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Snitz-Forums-2000-WOOT!-Free.aspx<a href="http://forum.snitz.com/">Snitz Forums 2000</a>. <p>WOOT! Free ASP powered forums for your site! Maybe I should impliment this. Wait, I don't get enough visitors to even think about it. Maybe this would change that though. Hrmmm, soon as the "-=discuss=-" links are working, let me know guys! Right now I'm waiting on a reply from my webhost(<a href="http://www.readyhosting.com">ReadyHosting</a>) on getting write permissions on the directory on my site that I have the comments files in. Should hear from them within 24 hours. They are pretty good at getting back to me. :)</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:54 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Snitz-Forums-2000-WOOT!-Free.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/ACLU-Freedom-Network-Your-Rights.aspx<a href="http://www.aclu.org/issues/criminal/bustcardtext.html">ACLU Freedom Network: Your Rights and the Police</a>. Printable "bustcard". What to do and what not to do if you are arrested or stopped by the police. Explains your rights, and what the police have the right to do.Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:53 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/ACLU-Freedom-Network-Your-Rights.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/The-Sarah-Jane-Official-Website.aspx<a href="http://www.sarahjane.com.au/">The Sarah Jane Official Website</a>. Help her become the the most downloaded woman in the world, as according to the Guinness Book Of World Records. At the time of this writing, there are 0 Days, 20 Hours, 36 Minutes, and 32 seconds left in the record attempt.Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:53 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/The-Sarah-Jane-Official-Website.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Well2c-at-least-one-cool.aspx<p>Well, at least one cool thing happened tonight, the discuss links work now...</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:53 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/Well2c-at-least-one-cool.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/What-a-weekend-Ill-not.aspx<p>What a weekend. I'll not go into the details here, for I am too tired. It's bed time. Spent the whole time at Tali's hanging out with the family, over all had a great time. We watched the 10th Kingdom, which I guess was a mini-series on TV a while ago. I liked it. Everything hit the fan this morning though. I turn on my cell phone and I have an urgent message from my father. My grandfather on my mother's side died yesterday. I feel bad because I really didn't get to spend much time with him. Mostly because I was hardly in Korea in my life. That's what you get from being a military brat. My fondest memories of him were when I did live in Korea when I was around 7. It gets very hot in the summers there, and some nights, my grandfather would use one of those traditional hand held Asian fans to cool me off as I drifted off to sleep. Another fond memory was how he used to know the exact pressure points on my hands and feet to use to massage away my headaches/tension. Then as I tried to start my car to drive home, my battery was dead. Luckily I had a pair of jumper cables so that was remedied quickly. I told Paul that I would go to the store for him to buy a pack of cigs, and the drive to the Albertson's was uneventful enough, but on the way back, I hit a poor orange tabby kitty. I love cats, and had never ever hit one before this. It just added to the upset, I definatly don't like how this week is starting...</p>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:52 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/What-a-weekend-Ill-not.aspxhttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/weeeeswf-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!-).aspx<a href="/download/weeee.swf">weeee.swf</a> WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! :)Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:39:52 GMThttp://www.jowie.com:80/blog/post/weeeeswf-WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!-).aspx